Then night time comes along and the bedtime routine goes fairly well, but the child seems to be more interested in expanding his creative methods of stalling. He needs to pee...5 times. He needs a drink...two or three. He's afraid of the shadows. He needs the lights on. He beckons me into his room for the 7th time just to say that I forgot something but he doesn't know what.
I try to be patient. I really do. But unfortunately for him he did not get a mom with unlimited patience. Mine runs short after probably the 4th beckoning.
You know...one of those days!
He's not like that all day every day, but the 3-year old's emotional stability is precarious at best. So even on our best days he has his moments.
But sprinkled among those minutes that I feel like I'm living with a crazy person and consider pulling out all my hair are moments that remind me how very lucky I am to have him in my life.
Sometimes we'll just be walking outside talking about the trees, the sky, the grass, dog poo, and suddenly he'll say sweetly, "I love you Momm-O". He says it with so much feeling. Like he really means it. He does this often in random daily moments. I capture those words, those emotions, in my heart to keep forever. I know someday he might not tell me he loves me as much as he'll tell me he hates me and I'm ruining his life. haha
I got a new robe for Christmas and he asks me to put it on so he can "nuggle" with me and my robe. Then he proceeds to snuggle up as close as humanly possible, pet me, and softly tell me again how much he loves me...and my new robe.
Sometimes he'll just look at me and with the honesty of an innocent child say "You look like a pretty princess!"
Then there's those moments in the wee hours of the night that he's woken up with leg/knee pain, feeling sick, or having had a bad dream and he'll yell out "Mommy! Come in here Mommy!" And he just needs me to be close to him for a bit until he falls asleep again.
The gentle touch of his hand affectionately and nonchalantly placed on my arm as we sit and watch our own devices together on the couch (I've been bingeing on Stranger Things and I don't want him to watch it...don't judge me).
I relish these moments. My heart swells with joy. And I don't take them for granted because I know I won't always have this small person to snuggle up into my arms. He won't always want to lay his head on my chest to "hear my heart go tick tock tick". He won't always let me give him kisses or tickle his tummy. I won't be able to get close to him and smell his hair forever. He won't want me to hold his hand everywhere we go as long as we live. All of these little things will someday become only a memory. He won't always be my small little boy. And while I have him in this way I will take it all in and hold onto it as tightly as I possibly can. Because someday he'll be all grown up and things will be different.
<3
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