Don't Tell My Son Not To Cry

I'm always a little surprised when people say things to my son that they think I will approve of. Like telling him that boys don't paint their nails or that he shouldn't wear pink. I  really  hate it when someone tells my son he's okay after he gets hurt or is upset about something. Don't tell my son how he feels. He knows how he feels and his feelings should be validated and respected. Just because he happens to be a boy doesn't mean he's not allowed to feel. Some of these things do tend to light a fire inside me, and I have to make a pretty great effort not to say something rude. I try to be nice about it, because I know they don't mean to be assholes, they were just raised that way, but it still really kind of pisses me off.

I don't want my son to feel limited by his gender. I don't want him to feel like he can't express himself in whatever makes him feel good about being him. Now, I know that someday the influence of peers and the desire to be accepted will come into play and he will learn that some things just aren't going to be ignored by society. He may or may not listen to those idiots. Time will tell. But in the meantime, while he is still young and fairly innocent about life I want him to be himself. I want him to feel like it's normal and okay for him to cry if he's hurt or sad. Anger is okay too as long as it's channeled and dealt with properly .

Humans have emotions. Boys are humans. And no one has a right to tell my son to "suck it up", "man up" (I'll never understand that one...men are such whiners! haha Seriously, get them sick with a little bug and you'll see), "dry up", etc. I want my son to know that crying makes you a man. At least it does in my opinion. A man who is comfortable expressing his feelings is better to me than one who stifles them and stuffs them away. Stuffed emotions can cause all sorts of issues. I don't want that for him.

Why I refuse To Cut My Son's Hair

For a long while in my life I got my hair thinned. I don't really know why, except that every stylist I ever had recommended that I do. So I did.

Then at one point in my life I thought to myself, "Why thin my hair when I have such awesome thick hair? Some women would kill for hair as thick as mine." So I stopped. I thought that this is what I was born to have so I should embrace it.

Yes my hair is ridiculously thick. Like crazy thick. I can't use clips or pin it up easily. I break tons of hair ties. My hair stylists always stand in shock and awe at the pile I leave on the floor, even after only a trim. And my poor sister-in-law who is now my only stylist has her work cut out for her when I get my hair colored. It takes hours. Like literally from 10am to 3pm. Not a joke. But at least it gives us time to spend with just the two of us. So there's a bonus in that.

My son was blessed with the same thickness. He gets compliments on his hair all the time. His hair is spectacular! He really has the most amazing blond hair, complete with natural highlights of red and brown. It is truly just gorgeous. It's a bear to manage for sure. After any sleep he has bed head that would put Wil Wheaton's to shame. It's difficult to wash and rinse because it's so thick too. The water just tends to bead off, leaving the underparts dry as a bone. It requires movement to get the water down to the scalp.

I have had it cut several times and cut it myself even a couple. If I had not, who knows how long it would be now. But I can't do it anymore. He just doesn't seem to me like the kind of boy that has a crew cut. His plump face looks too grown up with short short hair. My heart breaks too much when it disappears. He likes it long. I like it long. And why wouldn't we want him to have something he can appreciate when he is so blessed with such a gorgeous mane?

Boys can have long hair. It doesn't bother me one bit. Boys can wear earrings in both ears and I don't care. It doesn't even phase me. But some older people become very annoyed at the sight of my son's thick, wavy locks. They encourage me to cut it or ask me when I will. And I simply say no. Why would I do that to him? Why would I try to make him something he is not? He is old enough now to tell me whether he wants his hair cut. And he does. The last time we got it cut, it was because he wanted to. I didn't, but he did.

I won't cut it. I don't know at what point I will encourage it. Maybe never. I don't see me doing the 'man bun' to him though. I don't know. But I love him just the way he is. I love his massive head of hair. He's the best.