It's been over three months since my special cat, Derby, disappeared. My heart has ached ever since. I thought by now I might not think about him as much and that the pain would become less sharp, but this hasn't been the case. My heart hurts every single day. I've gotten past crying every day, but I still cry at least once a week. I just get so sad. I miss him so much!
I miss how he used to sleep on my pillow all the time so then when I laid on it I would get a face full of kitty hairs. I miss how he used to walk up to me while I sat on the couch and if I made eye contact he would immediately take that as a signal for "yes I want to love and pet you right now so jump right up on my lap no matter what I am doing." I miss how he would walk around the house looking for trouble to get into if I didn't let him go outside often enough. I miss how he would meow conversations back and forth. I miss how cuddly he was and so trusting. I could flop him around in any way and he wouldn't give a damn. He'd just look at me with those big golden eyes looking for more cuddles. I miss seeing him cuddled up in the pink bed that was supposed to be for the dog, but he decided it was his. Now it lays on our floor undisturbed. No on sleeps in it, but I don't have the heart to move it.
He was so special. When we first got him he didn't know how to be a kitty.He was clumsy, unbalanced, and didn't know how to clean himself. He was a kennel cat and he had health problems. But he developed into our best hunter and acrobat. He was the most wonderful cat I've ever had. Every day I just wish with all my heart that I will go to my front door and he'll be there sitting on the step just waiting for me to open the door and let him in. I hate that he is gone. I just ache. I feel like I'm being punished for something. It's so unfair.
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