I Am Worth The Time, Expense, & Energy It Takes To Make Me Feel Beautiful

In my youth, I rarely went out without having done my hair and makeup. Back then I did it because I wanted other people to see me a certain way. I wanted them to see me and find me physically acceptable and worthy of whatever because I was not ugly. Somehow I got the idea that my worth was based on my appearance (sarcasm...). I used to spend up to 3 hours doing my hair and makeup! Yes, insane right?! Everything had to look perfect. No crimps in my hair. Nothing amiss or off center. I scrutinized my face and hair for 3 hours! Awful! What a waste of time. And I doubt anyone would have even cared that I had a chunk of hair that didn't get straightened. And I lost all that time for strangers. For my perceived reality where everyone I encountered would judge me negatively. In reality, none of those people probably even cared.

Now that I'm older, I do venture out sans makeup occasionally without feeling horrified by the (IMO) so that saves a ton of time. Messy buns are also pretty great (as long as they don't take more than 3 minutes to put up, then they just piss me off). Most of the time I do my makeup. I do this in part because I am a horrible face toucher and compulsive picker. So if I have makeup on I reduce my face touching and won't pick as much. And it's not because I don't care what I look like, but I don't care what I look like to other people.
thought. I'll even leave strands of hair unstraightened. Actually, I have embraced my natural waves, which are pretty awesome

As I have learned to love me for me, I have also learned that I don't really care what other people think of me when they judge me based on my appearance. And quite honestly, 95% of the people looking at me when I go out of the house are probably far too wrapped up in their own self-conscious thoughts to even really consciously see me at all.

I get dressed and polished for me. I don't do it for the strangers I may encounter during the day. I don't do it so people will think I'm pretty (honestly, most of the time I really don't desire that kind of attention from anyone). I don't do it because society has shaped my thoughts and made me believe that in order to be a worthwhile woman in society I must be beautiful. Nope. I do it for me. I do it because I like looking at my face when I feel like I look pretty. It boosts my confidence. It makes me feel good to take care of my appearance. And that goes for fitness too. It's all about serving myself. Giving myself the things I need to look in the mirror and think nice thoughts. To express love and care for my own well-being.

Mornings are never ending if I don't get dressed and polished. I tend to feel depressed, negative, sluggish, unmotivated. Even if I've worked out. I have to get dressed for the day. I have to. And I deserve that! I know too many women who become moms and then just give up on doing things for themselves. And often that includes their appearance. Moms do tend to go automatic with putting themselves last. But I have found that when I put myself first (in a sense) I am able to be a better mom. I am happier and more patient. So, it's essential that I take the time to polish up for the day.