I never really thought it would happen. I was convinced that I wasn't able to ever get pregnant. I mean, I was off birth control for almost 5 years. I figured an oops would happen some time. But it didn't.
I really got serious about wanting to have a child in the last couple years or so. I thought about it every day. Envied those around me having kids and pregnant women I saw out in the store. Every time I saw this my heart ached and I would feel so sad, like I had lost something that I never had.
In December 2012 I pretty much gave up on this dream. I had another strange cycle and just thought to myself "I'll never get pregnant with this body! It doesn't work right!" So I let go of the dream and committed myself to just learning how to deal with not being able to ever be a mommy.
Then a funny thing happened. I was late for my cycle in January. My husband told me I should take a test. It angered me. I've taken so many in the past and only been met with disappointment. I didn't want to take one. I thought it was a waste. But I finally did. The first one was negative, but then we realized it had expired. So wondering if they really did expire we went a bought a fresh batch. This time it was almost instantly a positive. A POSITIVE!! Five tests later it was still saying that I was in the process of creating a human life. I smiled from ear to ear. I teared up. My heart swelled with joy. Could this really be happening to me?!
Since then everything has felt so surreal. I heard the heart beat for the first time and cried. It was such a beautiful sound. Then I got to see him on the ultrasound and we found out it was a 'he'. We are having a son. A son! I feel like I'm dreaming.
Now at almost 23 weeks I can feel my little mister kicking and moving around inside me. It's so crazy. I never thought I would ever get to experience this firsthand. But alas here I am. Here we are. He's growing and growing. His daddy is so excited and loves to read to him. He kicks when he hears his daddy's voice. It's so magical.
He has no idea yet how lucky he is. He is being born into a family who loves him so very much. His grandma & grandpa Mason are so excited to meet him and teach him wonderful things (well grandpa might not teach him all wonderful things...some may not be mama approved). His aunts and uncles are excited to meet him and give him the biggest cuddles.
He is so lucky. And so am I. So are we.
I am loving every minute of this adventure.
